Defence Minister

I ish feeling a little down while reading this entry

Haiz.... Sometimes when things like this happen, I feel so helpless and useless. Nobody will understand also why I feel so lousy over such small things...

:( Inbalance ah.......

Anyway.. back to the original topic which I wanted to blog abt when I was showering in my bathroom. :P

I have been given the nick Defence Minister from a fren of mine. Cos I never give any chance to ppl, and I only know how to block, siam and run away.

Hee... Actually I quite like this nick cos I think its so funny. I personally dun think I am really tht defensive la but I do value my personal space a lot and unless I trust the person, I will seldom show my most intimate thots.

On the contary, once my defence is down. I am like an open book. U can take anything and everything from me. I also ish ok.

Anyway... When I told Lawrence abt this new nick of mine. He luff and say.. tht guy must be a reject from my list, if not why will lidat say abt me. He say I too choosy.. Am i???

Am I too demanding for myself tht often when things dun go my way or up to my standard, I will just unknowingly reject and blame myself?

If this is really the case, it shld means everything I do is only perfect rite? Then why still I always have to face disappointment?

Haiz.. the feeling of imbalance is here again. :(

I think i better go sleep.